Vegan rant warning

I'm sick of walking contradictions. I am tired of hearing people scream, "save the planet!", in one breath, and "guns for the zombie apocalypse!", in the next. I understand that a rural/subsistence lifestyle means that you have less/more expensive/much more limited access to foods that are better for you, the animals, and the planet, but goddamnit, if you live in a major city, GUESS WHAT? You do not qualify as rural, and you don't exactly have any excuse other than your own selfish whims, for your cries of "but, bacon!"

I'm tired of it. I am tired of hearing, "Well, your diet isn't sustainable, being all organic and stuff, and produce has to travel miles to get here..."  Yeah, I know. I also know that food and water has to travel MILES to get to where your meat is raised, 'humanely' or not, and that travel has to be fueled by something other than magical, non-CO2-producing, pixie dust. That food and water being a day-to-day thing, not counting transfer of those animals to and from various operations/sites, including the slaughterhouse, I am pretty damn sure that my diet, even factoring in for water and fertilizer transport, consumes a tad less in the way of raw petroleum power, than does yours.

And humane meat? Please. If all meat was raised so that it could live out its infancy (because cows, goats and pigs all have a life expectancy ranging from 10 to 25+ years, if not in "the system", but they are killed within the first 2-4 years of life, when they are in "the system") in a beautiful pasture, where they could graze...it would require thousands of times more arable land than the meat industry CURRENTLY consumes. And guess what? At the end of the day, the animal is still killed, regardless of how humanely it was raised. Put into terms a pet-lover could understand, that would be like saying it's okay to kill Fido when you're done having him around, as long as he lived a good life, and you were able to slit his throat without his noticing. You are still responsible for that animal's death. I am sorry, but it still ends in violence. WTF is humane about that? But it's okay, because we're humans, and they're animals. Sick of that, too.

I am tired of hearing justification for milk and eggs, when calves in the milk industry are pulled from their mothers and crated up and fed an anemia-inducing died for the next few months, so their meat stays soft and they can become veal. I am tired of hearing about "cage-free" eggs, "free-range" egg-laying chickens, etc., because still, those hens are "spent" within the first two years of life, and then discarded, like so much trash.

If you want to use the term 'humane', or are tired of vegans periodically getting pissed off about your food choices, as well as our tendency to shove your own hypocrisy back into your face, here are a few things to try:

1) Remember that meat, eggs and dairy are not, in any way, produced in a way that could be considered 'humane', if you were to apply the same terms to a family pet, or another human.

2) Vegans don't make the insane and very arbitrary distinction between 'pets' and 'food' - we hold value for all life, on all levels. Even yours.

3) Most people that have gone vegan, and returned to an omnivorous diet for 'medical reasons'....were doing it wrong. Yep, I said it. They did not research their dietary choice thoroughly enough, to be informed enough, to thrive on a plant-based diet. Funny thing is, it doesn't take that much, but people want it fast, cheap and easy, because this is the age of convenience. Green smoothie, anyone?

4) If you're not willing to *seriously* research your own food choices, their effect on you, the animals, and the planet, do not presume that I will take you seriously about any 'scientific evidence' you present to me, about my food choices, their effect on me, animals, plants (of all things), and the planet. If you think I should take you seriously, and say as much, I'll laugh, long and hard, while showing you where to find the metaphorical or actual, physical door.

5) Yes, in fact, I am a medical professional, and yes, in fact, I do think that I know a tad more about nutrition, than you do, having had to learn, through trial and error over several years, what works for me. I accept that all bodies are different, and that there is a (VERY slim) possibility that there are people that do better on an omnivorous diet, but I also strongly suggest doing well-rounded research into plant-based options, before using that as an 'easy out'...because that's what it is.